As an avid Jesus loving, people pleaser, I've walked on quite a few egg shells in my day. I've always been concerned with the kind of example I'm setting. My high expectations of myself have never allowed me much room to make any huge regretful life decisions. It's not that I'm a great person who just happens to be really good at being good, because the truth is, I've always been scared shitless to do anything outside the rules I've been given. Naturally, I've never really had the courage to take risks, question the rules, or push boundaries. I like making good choices. It's comfortable and people praise me for it. So why change? Well lately, God has been shaking the foundations of every people pleasing part of me. He's taught me how to, "not give an f, if you will, and this is what I've learned so far...
What Not Giving an F Has Taught Me:
My biggest struggle is rooted in my lack of belief that God is good.
God's unconditional love is one of the greatest mysteries I've ever experienced.
The harshness I treat my failures and mistakes with does not hold a candle to the grace God treats them with.
I am human, I mess up, and instead of beating myself up about it, I need to laugh.
Laughing through the struggle changes my perspective on myself as well as others. It snuffs out bitterness and points me closer to God's perspective.
People cannot always take us in our dark moments. And it's okay. It doesn't make them uncaring people, it just makes them human, and aren't we all?
Pay attention to the few people that stick around when you are in your messiest moment. These are the people that love you for who you are and not what you bring to the relationship.
Accepting God's love for me means that I must sever all ties with any beliefs I've derived from the circumstances that have taught me differently.
My inability to love others is the product of my inability to accept God's love for myself.
God's grace doesn't appear when I repent, it's always there, even when I in my deepest rebellion, waiting for me to see it.
There are many aches on my back from burdens I was never meant to carry.
I cannot fix people.
Vulnerability is of utmost importance. God has used my weakest moments to display His strength, and my darkest struggle to shine his brilliant light.
All the past hurts I've experienced are tools for a future in helping others heal.
People can always change.
God being good means that I must stop associating Him with bad things and bad people.
There are identities and expectations people will always hold me to even though I am not those things any longer.
I love God because of who He is, God loves me, despite who I am.
There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear.
