Sometimes faith just sucks

Had a great conversation last night about faith. And I came to the conclusion that faith sometimes just sucks. Now before you all start praying for me to come back to Jesus, let me finish...Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Faith is trusting God's way when emotions want to take us another way. When I'm sitting on a beach, basking in the sun's rays, drinking a shirley temple, I would say that God is good. Clearly it wouldn't take much imagination to conclude that it's completely parallel my circumstance. But turn the tables on me, take away my beach chair, add a little rain and clouds, and most likely I wouldn't be preaching the goodness of God. In life, there are many difficult circumstances. Regret, rejection, deception, death of loved a one, sickness, depression, abuse, heartache, neglect, hurt feelings...and the list could go on. And with all these difficult circumstances comes the propensity to discredit God's goodness and blame Him for all the bad. And though we read that God works everything together for the good our trials seem to suggest the opposite. Which brings me to my point. I think it's okay to say that faith sometimes just sucks. It's okay to admit that though we know in our heads that God is love, we don't always feel in our hearts. Does that mean that I back out of this whole faith thing? No. It means that I take it as an opportunity to come to a new level of genuine communion with a God Who is thick skinned enough to hear my doubts, personal enough to let me rant, and yes, loving enough to hold me even when I am barely holding onto Him. So faith, yes, is tough, and it doesn't make sense all the time. And sometimes I may want to turn back. But then I recall that faith can move mountains, not just because I read it somewhere in a book, but because I have hiked the trail of that mountain, I've smelled the trees after the storm, and I've found victory in scaling it. I remember the days when God reached down and moved the mountain of my heart and forever changed my perspective. And the effect of that experience cannot be blotted out by a measly trial, it will not be forgotten despite my many doubts, and it will not be cast aside as memory in the past. God is good all the time, and despite what circumstance might suggest, all the time God is good.