I am not

It's been one of those broken kind of weeks. When circumstance, people, and even your own self seems to beat you down. And the day I was feeling the most beat down, God didn't comfort me or encourage me. And I began for the first time to doubt God's love and the hope I have in Him for the first time in my life. And in this moment of doubt, God did something I didn't expect. He led me to go to Medford and visit a family member who's been in the hospital for the past week. Considering their physical condition, they weren't very positive. They spoke of fear, depression, and a lifetime of regret. And during this conversation, I was reminded of the hope I have in Christ. And though this person had experienced heartache that I've never known, been in depths I never knew existed, and has felt pain I can't grasp the vastness of, I have experienced joy they've never known, peace they never knew existed, and love that no one can grasp the vastness of. And all the doubt that had filled my heart that day evaporated in the joy of sharing this hope. In sharing the hope Christ offers, I was reassured of God's faithfulness throughout the many miles I've walked with Him in my own life. God used the very last light I had left within me to shine into the darkness of that hospital room. He used my weakest moment to reveal His strength to someone Who's own strength is waning. And what I walked away with? I am broken. God is the Healer. I am weak. God is strong. I doubt, God is consistently faithful. I am prone to wander, God's love never gives up on me.