Here Comes Goodbye

Watched a movie with a goodbye scene tonight and of course it made me cry. Ever since I packed up and said goodbye to all my loved ones in GP to live in Paris 2 years ago, I get weepy during any goodbye scene I watch. Though I'm back in GP with my loved ones now, I'm starting to tear up. I'm  packing up and saying goodbye to GP again in 3 weeks. Everyone keeps reassuring me that it's going to be fine because I've done this before. And the truth is, it will be fine and I have done this before. But I think becoming familiar with a certain sadness doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond excited for this next chapter in Texas, but I'm not looking forward to the feeling that comes with leaving people behind. And with each sad moment that comes a certain cynicism wants to creep in.  Trying to convince you that opening your heart up to people is really too much to handle, that connecting with others is not worth the heartache that comes with leaving them. But it's wrong. I've learned that people are always worth it. We are meant to have relationships throughout our seasons in life. Some get to walk along side us, others stay with us in our hearts, and a few are in it for the long haul. And if it hurts to say goodbye to someone, it's a blessed indication that you are indeed spending your heart in the way it was meant to be spent. Thank God that He created us for community, thank God that He created us for Him, and thank God that He is there to mend the pieces of our broken hearts as we say our goodbyes.

"Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." (Jeremiah 29:5-8)

Signs of Unemployment

Signs of Unemployment or that you're on a long vacation (depends on how you look at it):

You can't tell what the date is or what day of the week it is without looking at a calendar.

You know it's time to do the laundry because you've run out of clean swimsuits.

You wonder why all of your friends have to work so much.

Some days you skip washing your hair because you know that you're going to be floating the river anyway.

You're finally not busy enough to overlook the fact that your car needs to be washed. (that doesn't mean you wash it, just now you notice that it's dirty)

You make plans with people because you have all this free time and become busier than when you were working.

You wonder why you have so many shoes cause you wear flip flops all the time. (with the exception of cowboy boots on Sundays cause they just look cuter with dresses)

You watch movies you forgot you owned.

You become very reflective, write your thoughts down and fancy yourself a poet.

Though you have a lot of time on your hands, you find yourself reluctant to commit to anything more than a day in advance because you want to leave time for naps.

You realize that your kitchen is full of baked goods and you are finally running out of that seemingly endless supply of flour you have.

You sing the day away, literally. It's amazing how many instrumental tracks there are on spotify.

You finally have time to learn all those Dolly Parton and Reba Mcentire songs you always wanted to bust out anytime you find yourself in a social setting involving karaoke.

As anxious as you are to get back to work, you realize the value there is in rest.

You better understand the importance of people and relationships. You finally get to say a little later, laugh a little longer, and talk a little deeper.

You finally know the meaning of being still before the Lord and are more connected to Him because of it.

And as lost as you feel, you become better acquainted with who you are and what you are meant to do.

Though this last month has been very topsy turvy for me, I've been so grateful for this time. I look forward to starting the next part of the journey, but am enjoying this time of repose. God knows what He's doing.