God is Near

"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior."

I've sang these words numerous times and have meant every word of them. And the Lord has been answering my request. What I didn't realize is how high the waves would be, how much my feet would ache from the distance, and how far past my comfort God would lead me. I've been unraveling the tangled mess of my insecurities one string at a time. My weaknesses have been laid bare before me and I am broken. My prayers are feeble and my worship is an offering of tears. I've wondered why I decided to follow Jesus and I've felt the sting of "though none go with me." The truth is, following Jesus can be hard, lonely, and exhausting. There's many moments of wanting to throw in the towel. I knew when I signed up that the gate would be small and the road would be narrow but as my knees start to buckle and my muscles burn, I begin to lose hope in the full life I was promised. And just as I'm about to faint from heat exhaustion, the sun begins to set and the cool of the evening surrounds me. The stars come out, I find a place to rest for the night, and I am comforted by the sounds of God's creation. There's a peace that engulfs me. God is near. Had my feet not been weary from the journey, I would have never known the healing there is in resting in God's presence. Had my eyes not been tired from squinting in the sun all day, I would not appreciate the clarity found in God's words. Had I not been alone and had a traveling companion, I would not know the depth of God's empowering love. And in the morning, I awake and continue the journey. There's mountains I'm meant to climb, rivers who's waters I'm meant to conquer, and, and forests who's trees I'm meant to scale. My circumstances, my wounds, my weaknesses, and my singleness all play a role. There is hope, healing, and joy. God is near.